11.73 things I wish I could go back and change

We all have things we wish we could change in life. It is impossible to change them and yet somehow these things have made me who I am and what I do, but still. When things are quiet and my mind has pulled into a rest stop of life to relieve itself, one of these things will pop up. It’s like that chunk of fat you didn’t see that burst to the surface while your stew is brewing. This is hard for me to write but I know we all have events like this in our life. Here we go with the 11.73 things I wish I could go back and change.

1. At age 8 I faked getting saved at a church service just so I could be first in line at the pot luck. Everyone kept patting me on the back, congratulating me, saying how happy they were. I walked to the front like some type of little prince and never went back to that church.

2. At age 15, my folks, sister and her two kids and my two nephews were traveling in a motor home for two weeks going all around Southern California and San Fran. The 8 of us started out at Sea World then Disney Land, Knott’s Berry Farm and would end our trip in San Francisco at Pier 39. We were all done with each other by day 8. I couldn’t take it any more. My mom started barking out orders in San Fran and I mouthed to her “F**K You!” She looked shock, understandable, and told me to go. I walked all around happily that day and said I was sorry then I saw her. I acted like I had a bad day but it was really a great time. Not only did I drop the king of all cuss words on my mom, I also lied to her about not having a good day.

3. Ate age 18 I broke up with a girl over the phone. I wish I could have told her face to face.

4. A co-worker TOLD me not to share a secret about them quitting to our new boss. He shared this in total confidence and I swore I wouldn’t share it. Just as the words were hanging in the air, “I won’t mention this to anyone,” our new boss turned the corner and said, what are we talking about? I panicked and my mouth started moving prior to my brain governing it. I said, “Mark here was just saying how he is going to be moving on soon.” I turned to see Mark’s face hit the floor. Get this, Mark , later that day, had to drive me two hours to a conference, it was a quiet drive and he barely stopped to let me out of the car. We never spoke again. I hate this event.

5. When we were married our day was beautiful yet it must have been close to 110 degrees outside. By the end of the lunch I was done and wanted to leave. We were honeymooning at the beach in San Diego. Before we walked out to the car, where the rice throwers were waiting, I changed into my shorts, yet my wonderful bride was still in her white dress. The photos from that point look bad.

6. Right around age 22 I was speaking with this really heavy girl and some of her friends. She made the comment, “I just have big bones.” Again prior to my brain filtering the words coming out of my mouth I said, “Yea and you have a lot of meat wrapped around those bones.” No one broke a smile and the girl just turned and walked away. Several years later she was fairly thin. (If you are the girl I said this to, again, I’m sorry)

7. When my son David was around 7 he was eating everything with his hands. The problem is he would use his shirt or pants as a napkin. This had been going on for weeks. This one day we were in a hurry and things weren’t going well to get out the door. David wanted something to eat and I gave it to him along with a fork. I come back to find him eating with his hand. I screamed, “USE THE DAMN FORK” and wrapped his tiny little fingers around the fork and made him stab his hot dog. He started to cry. Yes I did apologize for that.

8. For some reason when someone cries it starts a reaction in me to laugh. You can see how this in an inappropriate response to crying. The last time this happen was at my Dad’s funeral and my mom started to cry when I was speaking. I quickly had to make a joke so I wouldn’t bust up. I hate that reaction in me.

9. One night, after working with some kids, I was tired and super hungry. I drove through a Taco Bell and purchased two tacos. While driving home I dropped one of the hot sauce packets on the floor board. When I reached down to get it that was the moment I hit this big dog. I slowed way down to see him go into his yard and lay down crying, with a broken back leg. I opened the packed of hot sauce, took a bit of my taco and drove home. I should have talked with the dog’s owner.

10. Once when I was traveling I stayed that this SUPER fancy hotel in Miami. I went to dinner that night and had everything from a fancy appetizer to a mouth-watering dessert. When the 150+ bill came the waiter asked me if I wanted to charge it to the room. I said yes and he asked me my room number. I said 318, when he came back he said here you go Mr. so and so. It wasn’t my last name. I filled out the card, left a generous tip and walked away. My room was 316 right across the hall way from Mr. so and so. I should have gone back and corrected it.

11. There was this one day I was so mad at Brooke. I took here by her shoulders, looked her right in the eye and in the middle of a huge department store I said, “You have ruined this entire day!” I did apologize to her later that day but I know it left a lasting impression on her.

11.73 One day I answered my phone to hear my wife crying uncontrollably on the other end. I asked her what was wrong and she unraveled a story that made my soul burn. Someone did something to my amazing wife, THERE WILL BE BLOOD. About two weeks later I called this pers…..